Bluebottle: What time is it Eccles?

Eccles: Err, just a minute. I've got it written down on a piece of paper. A nice man wrote the time down for me this morning.

Bluebottle: Ooooh, then why do you carry it around with you Eccles?

Eccles: Welll, um, if a anybody asks me the time, I can show it to dem.

Bluebottle: Wait a minute Eccles, my good man.

Eccles: What is it fellow?

Bluebottle: It's writted on this bit of paper, what is eight o'clock, is writted.

Eccles: I know that my good fellow. That's right, um, when I asked the fella to write it down, it was eight o'clock.

Bluebottle: Well then. Supposing when somebody asks you the time, it isn't eight o'clock?

Eccles: Well den, I don't show it to 'em.

Bluebottle: Ooohhh.

Eccles: (smacks lips) yeah.

Bluebottle: Well how do you know when it's eight o'clock?

Eccles: I've got it written down on a piece of paper.

Bluebottle: Ohh, I wish I could afford a piece of paper with the time written on.

Eccles: Oohhhh.

Bluebottle: 'Ere Eccles?

Eccles: Yah.

Bluebottle: Let me hold that piece of paper to my ear would you? 'Ere. This piece of paper ain't goin'.

Eccles: What? I've been sold a forgery.

Bluebottle: No wonder it stopped at eight o'clock.

Eccles: Oh dear.

Bluebottle: You should get one of them tings my Grandad's got.

Eccles: Oooohhh.

Bluebottle: His firm give it to him when he retired.

Eccles: Oooohhh.

Bluebottle: It's one of dem tings what it is that wakes you up at eight o'clock, boils the kettil, and pours a cuppa tea.

Eccles: Ohhh yeah. What's it called? Um.

Bluebottle: My Granma.

Eccles: Ohh. Ohh, wait a minute. How does she know when it's eight o'clock.

Bluebottle: She's got it written down on a piece of paper.

Setting: The editor's office at the Buffoon.

Editor: Come in Dr Cluck. Please take a seat. So what's all of this I hear about fluoridation? What would you like me to print?

Cluck: I have a piece of paper with me that says fluoridation is one of the greatest achievements of the 20th Century.

Editor: Why do you carry around this piece of paper that says that fluoridation is one of the greatest achievements of the 20th Century?

Cluck: Well, if anybody asks me about fluoridation, I show them this piece of paper which says that fluoridation is one of the greatest achievements of the 20th Century.

Editor: Wait a minute Cluck, my good man.

Cluck: What is it my fellow?

Editor: It's written on this piece of paper that fluoridation is one of the greatest achievements of the 20th Century, that's what is written.

Cluck: I know that my good fellow. That's right. When I asked one Mr Thomas Reeves of the CDC to write down something about fluoridation, he wrote down that fluoridation is one of the greatest achievements of the 20th Century.

Editor: Well then. What am I supposed to think when somebody else shows me a piece of paper that shows me that fluoridation is not one of the greatest achievements of the 20th Century?

Cluck: I would tell you not to look at it.

Editor: So how do you know that fluoridation is one of the greatest achievements of the 20th Century?

Cluck: I've got it written down on this piece of paper.

Editor: I wish I had a piece of paper like that. Do you mind if I hold it to my ear?

Cluck: Sure.

Editor: It isn't saying anything.

Cluck: That's because I need to wind you up a little more.

Editor: You should get one of those things our newspaper has.

Cluck: What's that?

Editor: A rich sponsor.

Cluck: Oh yeah? What's it called?

Editor: A 'sugar daddy'. He tells us what we can and cannot print. He also says that fluoridation is one of the greatest achievements of the 20th Century.

Cluck: How does he know that fluoridation is one of the greatest achievements of the 20th Century?

Editor: He's got it written down on a piece of paper. Thomas Reeves gave it to him.

Cluck: That proves it then. Fluoridation MUST be one of the greatest achievements of the 20th Century.